Something About that Hamster Wheel

Please don't get me wrong. I don't come from a place of lacking empathy on this particular topic. Like many black women my age I too have a testimony about the emotional damage done by black men. Over ten years ago I spent four years with a man who never had any intention of doing right by me.  Respecting me, protecting me, marrying me, washing me in the water of the Word...nah he wasn't about any of it. He was about himself and what he wanted to take from me. And he took all I would give. My body, my joy, money, time, so many precious things, he took. I let him, though. And I take full accountability for my part in that, for my sin. However I don't take any credit for having the strength to walk away from it and stay away. I was empowered to do that only by the grace of God and I will forever be grateful. 

As I read that 4:43 blog post it truly took me back to that place, back to the hurt, the pain, the helplessness, the relational idolatry, the emotional slavery. I remember going on similar rants about black men, and I won't say that what Candice had to say there is totally untrue. I do believe there is a ton of broken black men. Some who are even Christians who on a large scale have not been discipled or mentored? They have not been taught how to treat a woman of God. So in many instances they come into the church and treat women the same way they did when they were in the world. I've encountered many black men who will tell you they're a Christian. Yet, nothing about their lives resembles a life that had been transformed by Christ. And I find as of late, many brothers in Christ know their Bibles. These brothers know and can regurgitate the doctrine backwards and forward. Missing from the equation is the accountability to Christ and other mature Christians that will reap solid, consistent application of biblical principles. I say all of that to say this; I am still under no obligation to submit to being treated like trash in a relationship, by anyone for any reason. 

"I wonder if you realize the cost we pay for loving men like you."

I grieve daily over this cost. Whenever I counsel a hurting woman, I feel their pain. Whenever I think back on my past, I pray for a reprieve from shame. Whenever I reminisce about the hurt passed between two people made in the image of God, I grieve. I see the remnants of this sinful cycle in myself and in my sisters and brothers: bitterness, residual pain, self-protecting mechanisms, bad boundaries (too many boundaries or not enough), depression, self-harm, distance from Christ, and isolating...among many other wounds, and I weep and lament. I pray against bitterness, which is always stalking me. Plead with God for grace, for it all. Praise Him for continued healing, from it all. I cry out, in prayer, for those who are lost and still enslaved to sin. 

The cost of sin is steep. Yet, it is a price we willfully chose to pay. We choose who we love. We chose to stay in sinful anti-biblical circumstances. We chose to continue to incur the damage, emotionally, physically, and most damaging of all, spiritually. And unfortunately I don't see many who rant about how horrible someone was to them in a relationship while simultaneously taking full accountability for their part in staying in said relationship. We stayed, we pay...simple as that. As I read the quote above and notice the tacit (or maybe not so tacit) accusation towards black men, I have to admit, my empathy starts to wane a bit. 

I don't want to stumble into self righteous land, by any means. As you can see above I have been this person, been in this place several times. Had to repent, had to preach the Gospel to myself. Yet I can't help but ask where is the accountability for the fact that we choose who we love? Where do we as Christians begin to take ownership for our bad decisions and sin? Instead of pointing outward to others and their sin? Do we grieve as much and as loudly over our own sins? (Mark 7:15-20)

"Who Made These Rules?"

Well it depends. For the professed Christian, Christ dictates terms. Period.

I won't say that we have crystal clear instructions on every circumstance that will confront the single Christian. We do, however, have clear direction on what isn't acceptable. 

We know that premarital sex isn't acceptable (Gen 2:24), thus cohabitating is out of the question. We know that we are to guard our hearts (Prov 4:23). We must keep appropriate physical and emotional boundaries with our brothers and sisters prior to marriage. We know that we are called to marry in the Lord. We cannot be unequally yoked with those who are not Christians (2 Corin 6:14). With this command we thus can deduce, we should not date those who are not Christians, as that would ultimately lead to marriage with someone who is not in Christ. These are things that we as single Christians should know for sure, and pray for the grace to walk in, even if we never marry. 

Now I know what you're thinking...easier said than done. I get that. Many of the commands in Scripture are very hard things, issues of life that we all have to wrestle with daily. We must be willing to engage in that battle with our sin. As I read Candice's words, all I could think about is how many men I've walked away from because I know the call. I know what the Bible says. Anything that will move me away from God is to be avoided. 

So why rules instead of obedience? As a Christian you know what the Bible says (or you should and/or will know). You are commanded to obey the Text. And when we run afoul of what the Bible commands and many of us do, we are called to repent, throw off that sin, and turn back to the Truth. Turn away from the lies. I read so many lies in between the lines of the 4:43 blog. You know these lies:

•  If I ask too many questions up front, I'll scare him off.
•  If I don't agree to (fill in the blank) he'll leave me alone.
•  How can you marry someone and you've never had sex? 
•  I've already had sex it is harder for me to stop after knowing sexual intimacy.
•  Everyone has premarital sex nowadays.  ("We cry out to God and give in to you.")
•   I can't marry someone I've never lived with; I have to see if we're compatible. 
•   I can't put too many expectations on him; he'll think I'm too much! ("But I never wanted to be too much. Only enough.")

"How did this happen? Why didn't I see it coming? What I did I do wrong? How can I fix it?"

Oh the lies can be deadly...if we don't tell ourselves the truth be sure that our enemy will make sure we not only believe but act on these lies (Rom 6:23). Our idolatry becomes a hamster wheel that negates our hope in Jesus and props a person up as our savior, in error (Rom 1:21-25). As Christians we are not called to perfection because Jesus Christ was perfect for us. However we are not relieved of our responsibility to live holy lives (1 Pet 1:16). Jesus has been gracious enough to give the Christian everything we need to live a godly life (2 Pet 1:3). Not only that but when we fail, we know and believe the Gospel of grace (1Corin 15:1-5), which promises us forgiveness and restoration (1Jn 1:9). We must be willing to call sin, sin...repent and turn away from it.

Even with knowledge of all the above, I'm not so prideful and/or nearsighted enough to flippantly say...just do the right thing. Living holy as a single Christian is clearly not the easiest thing in the world to do. As with anything in this Christian Life, we need Christ. God the Holy Spirit empowers us, directs us, assists us in doing what the Bible calls us to do, which is to walk in obedience to its precepts. And yes, Jesus does give us so much grace; nevertheless the Apostle Paul exhorts us not to abuse the grace of God. (Let it never be so). 

My prayer is that as Christians continue to read the 4:43 blog that we will allow it to cause us to think critically about what is being said. I also pray that we won't openly or silently give approval for sin. This topic is provocative and many, including myself identify with a lot that was shared. I know that we are all broken in various ways. We carry our pain and many times sins committed against us, but this doesn't give us a pass or the right to negate the commands of Scripture. We can share our pain, share possible solutions, but all of it has to be in light of the Gospel. All solutions practical or otherwise should ultimately and continually lead us back to the cross. Christ is where we will find the answers, redemption, direction, wisdom, and comfort we so desperately need. 

The Hypocrisy Of It All

I know it has been quite some time since I have formally written a blog post. I had a serious case of writers block for most of the time, and the other portion I was transitioning to Reformed Baptist and all the feels and craziness that come with that so I really took some time to “level set” and now I think I am ready to proceed. I think. :-)

Every presidential election cycle something j u s t manages to rustle my jimmies j u s t enough that I have to say SOMETHING about it, today’s topic is abortion. As you can see on my social media if you follow me at all, I’m very passionate about the topic. It is a huge issue that has major impacts on society, and more specifically DEADLY impacts on the black community.

Abortion On Demand

Let me lay out a few quotes from the mother of Planned Parenthood, Margaret Sanger. Sanger was a rabid racist who wanted to see the annihilation of those who were “detrimental to the future of the race.” She was a staunch supporter of “Native Eugenics,” and fully engaged in eradicating as many black babies as she could through various social programs.

This same Margaret Sanger that the Democratic Presidential nominee Hillary Clinton says, “she admires,” started a population control initiative called “The Negro Project." Hillary clearly states below in the quote that she is for the cause that Sanger launched. The cause that is racist to the core, the cause that set out to and is currently ending the lives of black children before they can even be born.  The cause created by Margaret Sanger the woman who says, “ Colored people are weeds that need to be exterminated."

Sanger wanted genocide and I am sorry to report she got exactly what she wanted and even more disheartening is many black people, black churches even, assisted her in reaching that goal:

“This is the same Sanger who persuaded a few reluctant, yet incredibly influential, black ministers to join in her Birth Control movement. To dispel the rising doubts among those who objected to Birth Control on religious and moral grounds, Sanger wrote that “the ministers work is also important…offering to train him in their ideals because “we do not want word to go out that we want to exterminate the Negro population and the minister is the man who can straighten out that idea if it ever occurs to any of their more rebellious members”[i]

So actually by leveraging the influence of black pastors and black leaders such as, Mary McLeod Bethune, W.E.B. DuBois, and Rev. Adam Clayton Powell, Sr., Sanger was able to get the black community to drink the koolaid and not only drink it but systematically pass it down from generation to generation. Faithfully voting for those with an openly racist ideology and disdain for poor black people, and those who are radically pro abortion like our current black president Barack Obama and the Democratic Party nominee Hillary Clinton.

Many media outlets have tried to rebrand Margaret Sanger’s intentions by heralding her as a hero of the feminist movement. That is a flat out lie. They are trying to hide the true context of how she planned to help with woman’s rights:

“Some herald her as a hero that advanced women’s rights to new heights. But it’s important to understand the context in which she championed such ‘rights’. It was not out of benevolence but a deep-seated hatred of ‘forced’ motherhood, chastity, of the ‘inferior classes’, of religion (especially Catholicism), and racial elements that were a hindrance to the breeding of a ‘race of thoroughbreds’.³ She wasn’t interested in removing the cause of poverty, illiteracy, illegitimate births, or other social ills–just attacking the result…innocent life…which inherently had nothing to do with any of the conditions in which he or she was given life.”[ii]

Her true intentions weren’t women’s rights at all. She saw the major ill with society being poor black people. These quotes and declarations from Sanger about her contempt for black people, any social programs to assist black people, and religion were not isolated instances, they were her worldview and she threw herself into finding resources to spread and sustain it. 

Even after her death her deadly vision is still being carried out even today, 80% of Planned Parenthood abortion mills are in black communities. Almost 2000 black babies are murdered in the womb DAILY because of what Sanger and Planned Parenthood started. Let that sink in. The number one killer of black people is abortion and it is legal.

So why even discuss the history of abortion, Margaret Sanger, Hillary Clinton, President Obama etc? Because I believe many have not, will not, or refuse to connect the dots on this issue. ABORTION IS A SYSTEMATIC RACISM ISSUE. Many black people refuse to acknowledge it as such and will legitimately get angry with me if I mention it as being a part of the “racism” conversation, but as you can see from the history…its origins and true intent has always been racist and sinister in nature. Why bring up everyone’s favorite first black president and everyone’s favorite first Democratic Party presidential nominee? Because they both are both radically pro abortion and thus by default, for what is the biggest blight on our country and the biggest issue facing the black community at this time.

I know emotions would dictate that the black communities biggest concern should be inequality, the police shootings and the systematic racism that still exists in this country and rears its ugly head daily. I am NOT saying those things are not issues that need to be addressed. I am NOT saying it isn’t important that they be addressed. What I am saying is they don’t even scrape the surface of the damage that abortion has done and currently still is doing to our communities.  Don’t take my word for it…look at the numbers.  You see the info graphic above the numbers are staggering. Even more confusing to me is we know the history of slavery, the blood that was shed to end it, yet abortion has killed more black people than the slave trade ever did (remember slavery used to be legal too), and the black community is mostly silent on the abortion issue AND voting for politicians who enthusiastically want to continue the murder of black babies.

One Issue Voters

So the new #spinmachine question that has been thrown out on the interwebs to distract people from looking at the facts, is being a “One Issue Voter.” Yes, when I look at the numbers and just the blind way many stand and applaud choice and abortion on demand in our country I HAVE TO be a one issue voter because the death is just too pervasive to ignore. Sure I could hang my hat on many other issues…and trust me as a Christian, I have MANY other concerns that I won’t go into here, however this issue of abortion on demand IS A PRIORITY. It is just basic logic from my point of view. Black babies are being systematically murdered at insane rates daily. We won’t have anyone to fight for equality FOR if we don’t stand and begin to preach the Gospel and plead with mothers to STOP ABORTING THEIR BABIES. Fathers stop taking the mothers of your children (You are a PARENT whether that child is born or not) to the clinic to murder your unborn children. And people PLEASE stop voting for people that are for the systematic genocide of black people. 

My question to the folks who want to jump on the “One Issue Voting” parade is (especially my Christian brothers and sisters)… what other issue is more pressing right now? If there is a more pressing issue that needs to be addressed in our society that has brought more shame, death, and condemnation on all of us than abortion has, I need you to share that with me.

The Hypocrisy

I got into trouble on the Twitter for sending this tweet:

“I have no chill when black folks vote for abortionists. Especially black folks who are always hollering racism. Hypocrisy much?" #BeConsistent @lvng4chrst

Yet I stand behind it 100%. You are a hypocrite if you acknowledge that this country still has a racism issue yet you go to the polls and vote for a pro-abortion candidate. There is no way around that. How will doing that ever be consistent? Considering the intent of abortion, how its purpose is being carried out in black communities, on such a disparate pace, how can this not be a huge part of the systematic racism that plagues our society and more importantly why are so many black leaders and people silent about it? Why can we unite in talking about the history around the slave trade yet we won’t talk about the history around abortion? Over 15.5 million black babies have been slaughtered since 1973 and the very same party that majority of black people openly support is the same party that spearheads the effort to see that number continue to rise at alarming rates. Currently more black babies are aborted than born alive in NewYork City, this is reprehensible.  Am I missing something regarding the death of these babies compared to other modes of death for black people?

Why don’t these #BlackLivesMatter too?  

That is what I want to know.

Praying that we all would truly vote our consciences in November.

---

[i] http://www.nyu.edu/projects/sanger/secure/newsletter/articles/bc_or_race_control.html

[ii] http://www.toomanyaborted.com/sanger/

Lessons Part 3: You Shall Not Murder

Early this morning I woke up praying and pleading for the lives of unborn babies whose voices cannot be heard. I asked God to move on the hearts and minds of those who would see fit to make their way out to "Choices" the local abortuary. The workers at the clinic, the doctor who shows up in a new luxury vehicle every Saturday, the young women who show up alone (though they weren't alone when they got pregnant), and the cowardly men who blindly come with some women and shirk their responsibility of protecting those same women. I prayed that Christ would grant them the gift of repentance, that He would allow them to believe the Gospel, that their lives would be forever changed. What I didn't realize was a young lady who is 7 weeks pregnant, was also praying...pleading with Jesus to send someone to "Choices" to stop her from doing what she knew she shouldn't do, despite her big sister's efforts to put pressure on her...to murder her unborn child.

I was there with my little sister Khadijah, Pastor Adam Gray and his wife and seven children, Jason, Christine and her little one Jaden, Ms. Lea a determined senior saint, and Chris a brother who goes all over trying to persuade others to believe the Gospel. We also had a Roman Catholic visitor out at "Choices" today with a flag with the virgin Mary on it, walking the line praying the rosary. We know God can use anyone, so we welcome his efforts regardless of how misled the origin of said efforts may be, however I won't go into it...that is a whole other blog post :-). Some of us were there at 8:30AM others came at different times, but we prayed before we proceeded with ministry.  Pastor Gray began by preaching the Gospel and pleading with the workers who were already inside setting up to open at 9AM. Several cars drove by during this time. Khadijah and I were able to minister to one of the clinic workers one on one. We shared law and Gospel with her, pleaded with her to find employment elsewhere, for several minutes. But when it became apparent that there was no real outward conviction we let her know that we wouldn't hold her anymore, that we would be praying for her and her coworkers. We gave her several tracts to share with those on the inside of the clinic, and I specifically let her know that we all will spend an eternity in one of two places, heaven or hell. I personally cannot condemn her but because of her dogged determination to suppress the truth in unrighteousness (Rom 1:18-32) I let her know she was already condemned (Matt 3:18).

Shortly after that exchange a young lady who had gone to the back of "Choices" to wait for the doors to open, drove back out about fifteen minutes later. On her way in she took some information from Lea about the Crisis Pregnancy Center in Norfolk (Keim Center) and after she read it and heard Chris preaching the Gospel and trying to persuade those in the back to come out, she reappeared crying. We guided her car over to the side and Khadijah and I approached the car to minister to her. We couldn't proceed though because the young lady was so upset all we could do is begin to pray. Once we prayed she stopped crying and I asked her, why was she at the clinic today, what was the reason for her visit? She said she was coming for an abortion and that she was seven weeks but she didn't want to do it. The young lady expressed how she had pleaded with God to send someone to stop her from doing it early this morning. As she continued to wipe more tears she shared with us how her older sister had been putting immense pressure on her to abort her baby because it would be "too hard." Her sister spoke against Christ and His church by exclaiming,  "the Christians will just judge you when you begin to show, you are only 20 years old... you should just go ahead and have the procedure and repent...God would forgive you." We were very sad to hear that her parents had both gone on to be with the Lord...one last year and the other the year before, and her big sister was all she pretty much had. Praise God she shared how her parents were Christians, and how they taught her about Christ and told her that they believed abortion was wrong. This young lady knows that "you shall not murder" includes unborn babies as well (Ex 20:13). Yet even with how their parents attempted to disciple them in the things of the Lord, Christ had not called her sister to faith and though her big sister had been taught the truth, she still tried to convince her not to have the baby. Now mind you, this woman has a college degree, a steady job, and the father of the baby standing with her and saying he wanted to keep the baby, she still considered giving in to her sister. The entire time as she spoke all I could think was wow this woman is ministering to US! She is telling us what we intended to approach the vehicle and say to HER! It was amazing the amount of conviction and clarity Christ gave her as she listened to the Word of the Lord go forth, as she waited in the parking lot in the back. How Christ brought to her remembrance what her parents instilled in her and gave her the strength to stand on those precepts when she needed to the most.

It was no small coincidence that we (the entire group) were out at the clinic on this 4th Saturday of the month and that was the day she showed up. I believe God answered her prayers and was so very gracious to her in so many ways. You see her big sister cannot have children, because she had an abortion years ago that was botched, and left her infertile. Today Christ gave this young woman a way out (1 Corin 10:13) this was clear. He gave her the strength to take advantage of the chance to not to murder her child like her sister did years ago and risk suffering a similar outcome.

We exchanged numbers, and contact information, with our new friend and sister in Christ. We began the arrangements to make sure she could get back and forth to her prenatal appointments. Finally we made sure she knew that she was loved and not only that, because she had truly repented, forgiven for her sins against Christ, and that she should not allow ANYONE to condemn her for what Christ has already forgiven.

Please continue to pray for "A" and her big sister. That this young woman will grow in her relationship with Christ and that she would allow us to assist her with anything that she needs so that she can have this baby and raise the baby in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ultimately that her big sister would come to know the Lord and support "A" in her decision to keep the baby. Pray for the clinic worker that we preached the Gospel to who rejected the message. Pray for  another couple that left but did not speak with us. Pray for an Asian couple that came to abort their unborn baby because they already had two children and felt that they could not handle another. Pastor Gray ministered to that couple and is currently working to make sure we can connect with them and walk with them as well.

Please pray that all involved that are not saved, would be granted repentance by the Holy Spirit, and come to know Christ as Lord AND Savior through the Gospel.. We always want to try to stand in the gap for voiceless babies who cannot cry out or speak for themselves, however we want to make the Gospel known to the lost as well. That Jesus Christ came and died in our place, while we were yet His enemies, because of our sin. That He rose again on the 3rd day and is sitting at the right hand of the Father and because of His sacrifice many have been redeemed and according to His sovereign will alone, many more will repent and come to know Him as well (1 Corin 15:1-5).  He now commands those of us who have been saved to share the Truth and make disciples of all nations (Matt 28:18-20). My prayer is that if you are in the area or live close by that you will join us every Saturday at 8:00AM at 224 Groveland Road Virginia Beach, VA 23452.

Finally, we are all so very grateful and thankful to Christ and we praise Him alone and He alone gets the glory for the lives that were saved today. Please be encouraged by this testimony and I pray that it would reduce you to love others enough to take action, and to be bold in speaking the Truth!

Lessons Part 2: God is Sovereign

As I sat in a training class at my job yesterday preparing to take an exam that will dictate if I can keep the promotion that I received in October... my heart was breaking. Once again senseless violence had broken out on American soil with the mass killing at an elementary school in Newtown, CT. I checked out mentally because so many things were going through my head I just simply needed to pray. Pray for the peace of Jesus to comfort and envelope those families, including the family of the shooter who had lost several of their relatives in one day. Pray for those such as myself who have recently lost loved ones and would hurt all the more with those who are mourning now. Pray for Pastors and church leaders who will have to provide Biblical answers for many questions that will arise in the aftermath of this tragedy. Praying for those who are lost and lack the Hope that we have to mourn in a way that will honor Christ. And finally praying that as Christians we will remember Romans 12:15... "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep."

This morning I woke up in a weird mood after listening to Pastor Albert Mohler's podcast, "The Briefing." Pastor Mohler did a special broadcast yesterday evening regarding the massacre that happened in Newtown, CT.  Something that he shared just resonated with me, I had to share.

I in no way want to diminish the agony that many parents and families are feeling in Newtown, CT. However as Christians we have to engage incidents like this through the lenses of our Biblical Worldview, as with anything else. We cannot start simply blaming gun laws, mental illness, the failures of our government and our public school system, and any other place we can turn to point fingers. We need to assign blame to where it is due per Scripture, human evil and sin. We are talking about someone who coldly calculated, planned, and murdered those he knew and loved and small children who had nothing to do with whatever his issue was. It was an immensely evil act. (Rom 8:3) The reality is that evil of this nature is a part of all of us, we are all capable of unspeakable evil as Pastor Mohler shared and with the testimony of Scripture, I 100% believe to be true. 

The Grace of Moral Restraint

Why doesn't this happen more often? If we are capable of such evil? The Word of God makes very clear that God restrains evil in all of us. It is by His grace alone and the gift of the Law of God, which though it cannot save us, restrains us from acting on our evil inclinations, that things like this do not happen every single day. The conscience that God has given us is used to restrain us from doing the evil that we all can do, and this is a gift from God. (Rom 2:15-16) Finally the sovereignty of God limits Satan in what he is allowed to do, limits us in what we would seek to do to one another if we were not restrained by the Holy Spirit. (Job 1:6-12) He holds us fully accountable though, for the sins that we do commit. God is a righteous and just judge and He will judge every one of us, justly, for the evil we have done. (James 4:12) Some who He has called to salvation will not be consigned to an eternity in Hell, yet each one of us will have to answer for the things we have done regardless of our eternal destination in Heaven or Hell. (Matt 12:36-37)

A Different Vantage Point

Life was difficult growing up in my immediate family for many reasons but one that came to mind in the aftermath of what happened yesterday in Newtown was living with a brother who has bipolar disorder.  I have an older brother, Clement Jr., who we lovingly called simply, Junior, who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a teenager. His mental illness had a profound effect on our family. My father had a difficult time dealing with it because I believe he did not understand the nature of Junior's illness and thus was very impatient about dealing with the symptoms and working with my mother so he could be treated correctly. My mother was always caught between a rock and a hard place regarding his treatment because of my fathers ambivalence towards traditional medicine and his reluctance to sign off on him being in any mental institutions or taking anti-psychotic drugs. 

I was very young when Junior started to present with symptoms so I vaguely remember the first days, but all I knew was something was very wrong and my mother was torn between honoring my father and protecting her children.  You see Junior always became very violent in his manic state, especially towards family. I remember as a teenager, when he would go off of his medicine, he would show up at my high school and pace outside waiting for me and my brother Levar to get out of school. I remember waking up in the middle of the night with him standing over me with a knife, yet he walked away every time and did not use it. The worst incident of all that I remember, is when my father and brother had to defend my mother...and a gun, ironically, is what kept him from taking her life. Unfortunately there were many more things that happened and even though it hurts me to recall the memories, all I can think is Thank You Jesus for I know he could have killed us all at any time really, but it was by the grace of God that he was restrained.

For me it's interesting to recall all the debate about mental illness: is it demonic, is it something that God can simply deliver someone from, is it all chemical, on and on. The reality is God can do whatever He wants for He is Sovereign. Nevertheless Junior is still living in a home for people who suffer from mental illness, being supervised to make sure he takes his medicine, and to my knowledge has not had a manic episode in many, many years. He has a church home in Illinois where he is an active member of the family of God and worships every Sunday. It still pains my father that he suffers from bipolar, my mother still stands with Junior in treatment and support, and unfortunately many of my siblings including myself are not very close to him due to the memories of the terrors that happened during his manic episodes. This is something I am not proud of and am dealing with, with Christ to this very day. I still deal with fear whenever I am around a person who is not mentally stable because of my past, yet because of what I know about Christ now I believe that going forward I will be able to walk more upright in this area. 

There is Hope in Jesus  

So as I look at what has happened in Newtown, CT my perspective is a little different. It pains me to see people passing judgment on the killer, via social networking etc. We do not know the circumstances of his illness, or if he knew Christ. But what we do know is Jesus is still on the throne and fully in control of EVERYTHING that happens, or does not happen for that matter. Our responsibility as Christians is not to pontificate about his judgment or his motives but to proclaim hope that can only come from Jesus. Jesus died because of sin, sin that includes unspeakable evil such as that which was perpetrated against many in Newtown, CT on yesterday. As I said my brother is still walking through this illness today and though Christ has not healed him for whatever reason, however He has restrained Junior from doing unspeakable evil to my family and the families of others. Many families deal with this same issue and Christ in His infinite grace and mercy has been faithful to keep their families as well. This is the lesson I have learned from this incident that never occurred to me regarding this issue with my brother Junior, until today.  We must focus on the sovereignty of God and trust that all He does is for a reason and we should not question that. And like God showed us with Job, He is not required to answer our questions about why He allows, what He allows. As His children we must continue to trust Jesus for protection, and look to Him for comfort in times like this.

 29 “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law." (Deut 29:29 ESV)

    "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort."
(2 Corinthians 1:3-7 ESV)

Well That's Not Loving?!

The skewing of the true biblical meaning of love has been used by Satan to cause havoc in the Kingdom of God. Many Christians (or so-called Christians AKA the "UnLost"), believe that the world's version of love is the same as the biblical version of love. Those who are familiar with Scripture know this is a false concept.

The world's version of "love" tells us that it is unloving to confront falsehood. However we know the Bible teaches us to speak the truth in love (Eph 4:14-15). The Bible also teaches that "all Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, and correcting (2Tim 3:16).Titus 1:9 clearly states to refute those who oppose sound doctrine. The world tells us never to confront anyone about their salvation, that is a "private thing." To ask a flat footed question about Christ or someones eternal destination is considered judgmental, unloving, and confrontational, especially if that person verbally professes faith in Christ. However to challenge said profession of faith due to chronic sin (Gal 6:7-10), and habitual pagan activity in a persons life would be considered grossly unloving. Despite the fact that the Bible says " Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted." (Gal 6:1). Also in Ezekial 33:6 it says that if we are silent and do not tell someone the truth, then their blood is on our hands. 

The Great Commission (Matt 28:18-20) clearly commands all Christians to proclaim the Gospel many Christians do not regularly. Why? Because they have been taught directly or indirectly that saying that Jesus is the only way and that without salvation you go directly to hell is "unloving." "How can we teach the lost about the love of Christ if we are being mean!" they say! "They already know they are sinning, why keep telling them...," they say. Regardless of what many people say, I would argue that it is grossly unloving to sit back and watch anyone (much less your own children, relatives, and friends) go to hell for all eternity (Hell is HOT, and eternity is a LONG TIME!) and not even attempt to proclaim the WHOLE Gospel to them! Yet this is what many Christians believe, if they are being honest...that to confront sin, salvation, or anything that may cause strife and ultimately possible rejection is to be avoided at all costs. Instead many have twisted the message to suit the felt needs of people. Many have brought pragmatism into the church to manipulate a verbal "yes" from the lost, yet many remain lost, and have not repented and believed the Gospel to this very day. I'm sorry but there is nothing loving about leaving people in a lost or in some cases, ignorant state in order to avoid conflict. (Gal 1:10) We must go over the law and make it clear that we've all broken the law (Ex 20:1-17), none of us can keep the law (Rom 3:23), we are all guilty (James 2:10), none of us are good (Rom 3:10). Thus we all need a Savior and His name is JESUS! (Rom 5:20-6:1-2; Gal 2:19-21). Even knowing all of this, as many Christians do, they still say, "come to Jesus and your life will be better." Which isn't patently false, however perception is definitely an enemy here. To a lost person "your life will be better" = "my CIRCUMSTANCES will change for the better." Meaning more money, bigger house, better car, better job, perfect spouse, perfect children, less problems...yay Jesus!!! Unfortunately that is not always the case, sometimes your life may get worse! Persecution will come (2 Tim 3:12), and many fall away from the Church when that happens. (see the parable of the Sower Matt 13:1-9)

Now are you seeing why this false ideal of love has been so destructive in the Church? It has basically yielded a generation of people who say they believe, yet many are false converts. I've read too many blogs in one week exposing different sides of this fallacy and I praise Jesus for the boldness of those writers. My question to you is now what will you do? Will you read this and continue with life BAU (Business As Usual)? Or will you act accordingly, depending on where you personally fall on this issue? If you believe with 100% assurance, will you tell others about Christ and stand in prayer with me regarding this issue? If you are part of the Unlost and are willing to admit you are not sure you are saved after reading this post, will you seek Godly counsel and seek Christ in hopes that prayerfully you will be called into true fellowship with Christ through repentance and grace through faith (Eph 2:8-9)? If you know you don't believe will you repent and believe the Gospel (1 Corin 15:1-5)? Admit that you've broken God's law and if judged today you would spend an eternity in hell? Please confess your sins and put on the Lord Jesus Christ, I pray if it be Your will Lord, do it today! Wherever you land on this issue do not remain stagnant, but take action! I Love you!

Five Reasons Why I'm Happy Being Single

Long Disclaimer: My references for marriage are based off of heterosexual couples who have been married 20 or more years and biblical examples of godly marriage. I have NO ISSUE with marriage in fact I hope to be happily married in Jesus as soon as the Lord wills it. Lastly I am doing this totally off the top of my head so if I miss something...by all means share in the comments section. This applies to married and single folk... I am sure my married readers can remember some things they miss about being single :-)

My List in No Particular Order:

1) I love eating my meals whenever I want, whatever I want, and in no particular order. ie. Cheerios for dinner, liver and onions for lunch, dinner for breakfast etc.

2) I always wonder what it is like to come home everyday and most likely know you have little hope of a moment alone. (depending on your situation) I love being able to retreat with no explanations.

3) I enjoy being able to fast, pray, and read my Bible by my schedule. I don't anticipate being able to maintain this schedule married and then with children.

4) Similar to reason three I don't anticipate being able to continue my current pace in the areas where I serve the body of Christ. Though I am not sure that I would mind giving up some things for more time with my husband I may miss some things terribly too.

5) All the habits I take for granted now like what I do, or do not watch on TV, music I enjoy, when I do my chores at home, and how I do things in my regular routine (pay bills, go to the grocery store, go to the gym, violin practice at home etc) are all up for grabs as another person comes into the picture. Being a HIGH D creature of habit I am ecstatic to think of these happier times when I don't have to compromise with someone else on these habits on a regular.

Now mind you, I could get into a lot more detail but these are just the things that come to mind readily that I think about all time. Things that I believe are good solid reasons to rejoice in being unmarried in Jesus. All the time, there is just this constant barrage of melancholy from unmarried Christians about all the fabulous reasons they want to be married and hate being single. I wanted to give a few reasons to REJOICE in being single for the time in which we are called and return the focus to where it should be for any unmarried Christian... the things of the Lord (1Corin 7:32)... not in languishing about not being married. I hope this little list of mine encourages someone and if you can think of anything else...again please share! God bless!